Scammed

A couple of days ago I helped a friend update his Elks Lodge laptop from XP to Windows 10. The reason was his antivirus no longer supported WinXP. He had downloaded the free upgrade but didn’t know that he couldn’t directly update from XP without a wipe and reload. While I was taking care of it he mentioned about his personal laptop which had a virus on it. (Prepare for head shaking or facepalming). He said the virus popped up with a screen that said it would shutdown his computer and he needed to call a 1-800 phone number at Microsoft to get it removed. He said not long after that he got a phone call from Microsoft that they had detected a virus on his laptop. (At this point I froze because I knew what he had done.) He said he called the Microsoft number and the foreign guy had remoted in and installed software to remove the virus. He said he had to buy the software and paid for a 1 year license. I asked him did he use a credit or debit card and he said he used a credit card. I told him to call the CC company and immediately put a block on any transactions and then get a new card. He told me that ‘Microsoft’ called him back to check on his laptop to see if it was working ok. I had him run home and get his other laptop. I just finished wiping it and reloading it. Oh and the reason he got virused ? He had a free trial version of McAfee and it had expired a year ago and he had been closing the upgrade message. I charged him double for the reload…

#-o

Every now and then, I get some person from “computer Service,” calling. Yeah it is a scam and I generally hang up, but on some occasions I want to let them talk and have some fun on my end.
They have me go through their routine and of course I don’t. I then tell them that my computer isn’t doing they say it should be doing, and that gets them to re-read the script. After the third time they generally hang up.

Or, I ask them which computer as I have many (I don’t but oh well) and they are kind of stuck.
I have told them that I am part of the CIA and somehow they stumbled on to me . Not to move as We have traced them and have armed operatives outside their building. I had one guy shout something and hang up in a hurry.

I have said, “Yes, I am generating those viruses and have sent them over the internet to them, now they were infected.”

I even said that we have a poor phone connection and would they please talk louder. I generally can get the guy to yell very loud, before saying “Got you.”

I accused one of being an ISIS terrorist trying to hack into my computer and that I worked for the Russians.

The best thing is just hang up. Microsoft will never call. You only have to worry if a black SUV sits outside your home and a SWAT team is parked in the driveway

I get bored easily


Hi, when they ring me up I keep them talking for as long as I can just to wind them up, I have great fun with them.

teal.

I’ve told some on several occasions that there’s nothing I can do, and to contact my ‘manager’. I then give them the field office number for the local ATF, FBI, or customs field offices.

I like to mess with scammers too as a stress release. One time on a “Microsoft” call I went around and around with the idiot and finally I said so I need to reboot my Raspberry Pi now ? Then hung up. I have been a hillbilly with 14 kids…yelling occasionally…“Leroy !!! put that gun down…yer gonna shoot yer brother…” or whatever comes to mind. I have told them that I am the coroner and that the person they are calling was murdered and then I start interrogating them on their involvement and accusing them of murder and that I have an arrest warrant for them. On the “loan” offers I speak in voice like Danny Trejo and my name is Slash…I need a loan to buy my ol’ lady a trailer because I am going to the slammer to do 10 to 20 … for killing a telemarketer who called me and they still aint found their body…click. :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

I do rug hooking. I also dye my own wool. So I am down the basement working on the wool and the phone rings. I was smart to put a phone down there, something about sprinting up the stairs at my age isn’t a good thing.

Anyway, this guy calls, I reply I told the truth. I said I am dyeing and was busy trying to get that done. He though “dying” and asked me if he should call someone for me. I replied after I realized what was going on, that I was trying and now that he called I felt what is the use and hung up.

Never mess with old people. Old age and treachery always overcomes youth and skill

=D> =D> =D> =D> Aardvark

You could also answer and say…I’m kind of busy right right now…I’m an old hooker and it takes longer these days…click…

Oh yes… The old “so and so is deceased and inevitable interrogation”… Classic. :smiley: I’ve also said some pretty sick stuff to telemarketers where I’m actually surprised I haven’t had a visit from the police.

Jehovah witness are fun to screw with too. My most memorable JW incident… I lived with my cousin in a 3 story apartment complex and we lived on the top floor. My cousin was away for a few weeks. I seen them wandering about through the rear balcony. When they knocked on our door I ran on all fours across the apartment snarling and barking like a mad rabid dog. I literally shouldered the front door as hard as I could while scratching at the door about neck height snarling and barking. I heard them on the other end “the F was that!?!” I got a lot more aggressive with the noise and heard them run off. :smiley: My cousin had a black lab, and he looked at me like I was psycho during the whole thing, and when I started walking back toward the living room, he ran into his crate and didn’t come out for a few hours. I laid on the floor in the living room laughing so hard I’m surprised I didn’t choke to death. Told the downstairs neighbors what happened because they were a little concerned and we shared a good laugh. He thought we had some other animal that we weren’t supposed to have that was about to kill somebody.

My call blocker handles who gets through to me, and this sign on my door has served me well for many years! :slight_smile:


MGCJerry =D> =D> =D> =D> =D> =D> =D> =D>

John P - Good One !!!

Back in the old days, I would sometimes say “Please Stand By” and issue an ATDT command to my modem. It would send a big flurry of dial tones. Then muffled, as if I was talking to someone else, “I’ve just about got it” and do it again. They usually could not hang up quick enough.

Steve

I may or may not have used one of these for scammers. :slight_smile:


Air Horn.jpg

For the door people… First off, our “front door” is inacessable and I have a sign on it that says “Use rear door. its thataway ->”… On our “rear door” I have a sign that reads:

No peddling and/or soliciting
Unless you are selling a Girl Scout selling Girl Scout cookies.

Also when I lived in Florida, I had a similar sign on my front door and still had people knocking on it. I always asked them if they were selling Hooked On Phonics and I’d typically get a puzzled look. I’d either hand them business cards I made myself about a local adult reading & rehab program, or mock them. My sign was incredibly easy to read and see… I know it worked because I also had a security camera and would see people walk up, stop & stare. Then turn around and walk away. I know I’m a total ahole.

Edit: However did get my fair share of kids of knocking on the door for school related stuff and I didn’t hold it against them but I did tell them to look out for people who have signs like mine. I did have one parent come back, (they were a neighbor) and thank me for not being a total ahole to their kid because of the sign.

I’m an ahole to adults, but not kids. Its amazing how much more kids pay attention and learn than adults.

An auto repair shop had a sign on the wall as you walked in the door that I got a kick out of.

“We shoot every third salesman. The second one just left.”

somebody e-mailed me this one once:


Problem is, as I learned after owning a business and dealing with the public for 35 years.
1-Most people won’t notice the sign.
2-Those that do notice won’t read it.
3-Those that do read it, don’t comprehend it. #-o

Indeed…

I worked at a gas station that had a “prepay after dark” on the pumps eye height where you click your fuel grade button. Hardly anyone repaid, even repeat customers. One night I was in a crap mood so i made some hand written signs and put them on the pumps. Well, I misspelled “please” on one of them and EVERYONE that went to that pump prepaid but told me I spelled please wrong. “Hey it brought you in here to prepay”… So the following night, i did the same thing. Made more hand written signs and misspelled words intentionally and everyone prepaid that night but the boss got mad for me taping signs to the pumps. It was a humorous night that night. :smiley: