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| Aardvark hunting |
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| snowman:
--- Quote from: aardvark on August 25, 2005, 10:05:51 PM --- :? So it might not be good idea to say .. "bite me?" http://www.bofunk.com/media/videos34801700/bf_bad_dog.wmv --- End quote --- Bad link..... |
| aardvark:
Ok how about these: http://www.geocities.com/georgianesther/aardvarks.html Who loves hamburgers, French fries, and ants? Ronald MacAardvark! What is uglier than an aardvark? Two aardvarks! What does the aardvark call his dog? Aard-bark! What is the difference between an aardvark and a coyote? One has a long smeller, the other, a loud yeller! What does an aardvark take for ant-digestion? Anta-Seltzer! What does an aardvark get when he overeats? Ant-digestion! What does an aardvark keep in his aquarium? An aard-shark! Who's the aardvark's favorite female vocalist? Bearbara Streis-ant! Who's aardvark's favorite male singer? Frank Sinostril! What are the aardvark's favorite Beatle's songs? It's Been an Aards Day's Night and I Want to Hold Your Ant! What's worse than a giraffe with a sore throat? An aardvark with the sniffles! What does an aardvark use when he has a cold? An ant-ihistamine! What command does the aardvark give most often when he sails? Snout about! What does the aardvark take sailing? An aard ark! How do ants hide from aardvarks? They disguise themselves as uncles! Why do aardvarks like to talk to ants? They can stick to the subject! Why was Easter the aardvark's favorite holiday? Because he liked aard-boiled eggs! What has 200 legs, 50 noses, and is very loud? A herd of stampeding aardvarks! Where does the aardvark family always come first? In the phone book! What do you call a boxing match between two aardvarks? A snout bout! What do you call an aardvark that's just won a fight? A well 'aardvark! What do you call an aardvark that's just lost a fight? A vark! What do you call an aardvark that's been thrown out of a pub? A barredvark! What do you call an aardvark outside Buckingham Palace? A guardvark! What do you call an aardvark in a frying pan? A lardvark! What do you call a pickled aardvark? A jarredvark! What do you call an aardvark that plays poker? A cardvark! What do you call a thick-skinned aardvark? A hardvark! What do you call an aardvark good with a light saber? A darthvark! What do you call an aardvark that writes poems? A bardvark! Why can elephants swim - and aardvarks can't? Aardvarks don't have trunks! What did the aardvark say when he lost the race to the ant? If you can't beat 'em, eat 'em! Who won the animal race? The giraffe and the aardvark were running neck and neck, but the aardvark won by a nose! Why does mama aardvark call her husband a cannibal? Because he ate his ant for dinner! When is an aardvark jumpy? When he's got ants in his pants! Why do aardvarks make undesirable neighbors? Because they always have their noses in other people's business! What do you call a three-footed aardvark? A yardvark! What do you call an road construction aardvark? A tarredvark! What do you call an aardvark astronaut? A starredvark! What do you call an aardvark that's good at golf? A paredvark! How many aardvarks can ride on an elephant? Six... three on the back and three in the trunk! What did the impatient waiter ask the gluttonous aardvark? Is that your final ant, sir! What do you call a Polish aardvark? A Polaark! Who has a long nose, wears a mask, and sits tall in the saddle? The Lone Aardvark! Who is the Lone Aardvark's faithful Indian companion? Tanto What will an aardvark become if you throw it into the sea? Wet. Two aardvarks watched in amazement as a firework flashed across the sky. 1st aardvark: Wow! I wish I could fly like that. 2nd aardvark: You would, if your tail was on fire. Patient: Doctor, Doctor, I keep seeing flying aardvarks. Doctor: Have you seen a psychiatrist? Patient: No, I just keep seeing flying aardvarks. If your aardvark lost his (or her) tail where would you get another one from? A Retail Shop. Customer: I'd buy that aardvark, but it's legs are too short. Pet Shop Owner: Too short? They all touch the floor don't they? Fred and Bob shared a cage for their two pet aardvarks. So that they could tell which was which, they tied a red ribbon around Fred's aardvark's neck. But one day when they went to play with their aardvarks the ribbon had fallen off. "How shall we tell the aardvarks apart now?" said Bob. Fred thought for a while. "I know!" he said. "You have the dark brown aardvark, and I'll have the sandy coloured one!" A man tried to sell his neighbour an aardvark, promising that it could talk, but his neighbour refused to believe him. Suddenly the aardvark spoke. "Please buy me," the aardvark pleaded. "My owner is cruel and never feeds me, even though I'm the most clever aardvark in the world." "So he can talk!" exclaimed the neighbour. "Why on earth would you want to sell such an amazing creature?" "Because he tells such awful lies..." Little Boy: "Dad, what would happen if I stole that aardvark?" Father: "You'd go to prison, son." Little Boy: "Oh! You wouldn't forget to feed him while I was away, would you?" A huge elephant was stomping across the country when he came across an aardvark in his path. "You've very small," the elephant said fiercely. "Well, I've been ill," replied the aardvark. Why did you put this aardvark in your sister's bed? I couldn't find a mouse. Vet: Give three teaspoonfuls of this to your aardvark every night. Person: But I've only got one teaspoon. What have all eighteenth century aardvarks got in common? They are all dead. I've got a new aardvark. Would you like to play with him? I don't really know. I've heard it growling, it doesn't sound very friendly. Does it bite? That's what I want to find out. I call my aardvark Camera. He's always snapping. What has six legs, two arms, four eyes and a tail? A man holding an aardvark. Aardvark and no play makes Jack a dull boy! A man wanted a new aardvark so he looked through the classified ads. He phoned a number he found and an elderly lady answered. "How much are your aardvarks?" he asked. "They're £6 each," came the reply. "Did you raise them yourself?" inquired the man. "Oh yes," she said, "Yesterday they were only £5 each." How do you define an aardvark? Aan aanimal that resembles an aanteater! Which aardvark holds the speed record? The nearsighted aardvark, who wrapped his tongue around a motorcycle! Knock Knock Who's there ? Aardvark Aardvark Who ? Aardvark a million miles for one of your smiles ! Did you hear about the household appliance that eats ants and records TV shows? It's the VCRdvard |
| niko:
Cute site Snowman :D |
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